From funny-ha ha.co.uk, via a friend:
Children's Science Exam Answers.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like
grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on
the moon,and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (for example, abdomen..)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the
heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O,
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Hat tip: Bob Levy (the oral surgeon, not the lawyer ;->)